How Do You Know if Someone Lost Their Virginity

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Losing your virginity tin can seem scary, and the range of myths surrounding it doesn't help. While some women may experience pain during their kickoff experience with penetrative sex activity, you do not have to have a bad fourth dimension. Talking to your partner and understanding how sexual activity works tin help you relax beforehand. By setting the right mood and using the right tools, yous can make your first time a positive and fifty-fifty enjoyable experience.

1. ane

   Make certain you are prepare to have sex . Feeling nervous about your first time is normal. If you feel tense when you think about sex or when y'all and your partner are fooling around, it might be a sign that you should wait. If you accept sex activity when it doesn't feel right, you may savor sexual activity less and become tense during the human activity.

   • A lot of people grow upward beingness taught sexual activity is shameful, should be reserved for marriage, and is just to exist experienced between a human and a woman.^[one] If the idea of sex makes yous feel guilty or stressed, maybe you should expect. Try talking to someone well-nigh your feelings.
   • It is normal to feel insecure or unconfident most your torso. Merely if you lot are scared or cannot be naked because of how you look, it might exist a sign that you're not quite ready to be with a partner.
   • Don't feel ashamed of your sexual preferences. Only you tin can decide who you're attracted to and what type of sex you lot desire.

2. 2

   Communicate with your partner. Talking with your partner can establish trust while helping you lot feel more positive well-nigh having sex. A skilful partner should be considerate of your feelings and willing to aid you through the procedure. If your potential partner pressures yous too much or makes you feel uncomfortable, reconsider having sex activity with them.

   • Talk about nascency control and protection before yous have sex. You might say, "I'm on birth control, but y'all're even so going to use a safety, right?"
   • Let them know what your fears and expectations are and how yous're feeling. You might say, "I'one thousand really nervous nigh it pain the outset time."
   • Tell your partner if there's something you want to try or something you absolutely don't want to do. For example, you can tell them, "I don't listen oral sex, but I'm not actually into anal."
   • If you're nervous or broken-hearted, let them know. If they dismiss your feelings, information technology may be a sign that they do not accept your concerns seriously.

3. three

   Find a trusted adult you tin can talk to. You might feel awkward discussing sex with an adult, just you should at least identify someone y'all tin can reach out to for help. This could exist a parent, a doctor, nurse, school counselor, or an older sibling. They can give you advice, reply your questions, and provide admission to protection. Fifty-fifty if you don't end upward talking to them beforehand, you may want to have someone yous could contact in case of emergency.

   • If you feel pressured to take sex, talk to a trusted adult for aid. Remember that you never have to have sex unless you desire to. No i should pressure you into doing something y'all don't want to.

1. ane

   Acquire nearly how sex works. Agreement your ain anatomy can help you experience more confident, especially if your partner is also a virgin. Knowing what goes where, what'due south normal, and what to look can help ease your anxiety. Some places you tin look include Planned Parenthood, Sex, Etc. and Scarleteen.

   • Masturbation can help you empathize what yous enjoy when it comes to sexual practice. Earlier having sex with a partner, try experimenting with yourself.

2. 2

   Discover your hymen. Contrary to pop conventionalities, the hymen membrane does not usually cover the vaginal opening unless a condition exists such equally a microperforate or septate hymen. Rather than it beingness a "seal of freshness" like many say, it is instead the muscle and skin surrounding the opening, akin to the skin and muscle of the butthole. It doesn't "break", only it can be damaged by annihilation from tampons, doing the splits, or when having sex activity or inserting larger objects in, which causes the pain about virgins feel.

   • If the hymen is damaged or torn, it will most likely drain. This can be seen whilst and afterward sex. The amount of claret should not be nearly as much blood equally if you lot were on your period.
   • Tearing/"breaking" your hymen shouldn't be very painful. Pain during sex is usually caused by friction. This tin happen if you lot are non lubricated or aroused enough.

3. 3

   Identify the angle of your vagina. If you can help your partner ease into you at the correct angle, you'll avoid some potentially painful fumbling. Nigh vaginas are angled with a forwards tilt toward the belly. If you were standing, your vagina would be at a 45-caste angle to the flooring.^[two]

   • If y'all use tampons, have notation of how you approach inserting a tampon. Endeavour to recreate that aforementioned bending when you start penetrative sexual activity.
   • If you lot don't utilise tampons, insert a finger next time y'all're in the shower. Aim toward your lower back; if that doesn't feel comfortable, shift forward slightly until you lot find a point that's comfortable.

4. 4

   Locate your clitoris. Women rarely experience orgasm from penetration alone. Instead, clitoral stimulation unremarkably causes them to orgasm. Oral sex or clitoral stimulation earlier penetration can relax the muscles.

   • Endeavour to locate your clitoris before y'all have sex activity. You lot can do this past masturbating or past looking with a mirror and a flashlight. This can help you guide your partner to information technology during sexual activity, peculiarly if your partner is also a virgin.
   • Orgasming before penetration may really assist reduce hurting during sex. Try to engage in oral sex during foreplay and before penetration. Your partner tin also stimulate your clitoris with their fingers or a sex activity toy.

1. 1

   Pick a stress-free location. If you lot're constantly worried about getting caught, you might not have much fun. Make information technology easier on yourself and your partner by choosing a time and identify where you lot won't be disturbed.

   • Expect for privacy, a comfortable surface to lie down on, and a time when you aren't worried about being on a schedule.
   • Call back almost whether you're more comfortable having sexual activity at your place or theirs.
   • If you're in a dorm or if you share a room, you might ask your roommate to give yous some time alone that night.

2. 2

   Gear up a relaxing mood. Loosen up by making the atmosphere stress-complimentary. Clean up any distracting ataxia, close off your phone, and remove anything else that might make you feel nervous or go on y'all from focusing on your partner.

   • Dim lighting, soft music, and a warm room temperature can help make y'all feel safe and comfortable.
   • Consider taking some fourth dimension to groom yourself beforehand so that you feel relaxed and confident.

3. 3

   Go consent. Brand sure you and your partner have openly agreed to accept sex. If you're not sure how your partner is feeling, enquire before going forward. Merely considering your partner doesn't say "no," it doesn't mean you have consent.^[3] They should respond with a confident, accented "aye."

   • If your partner doesn't want sexual practice, exercise not pressure them. If you do non want sex, they should back off when you say no.
   • Consent as well means that you lot shouldn't do anything that your partner isn't enthusiastic about.

4. 4

   Use condoms. Condoms protect against both pregnancy and sexually-transmitted infections (STIs). Using protection may help yous relax if you are nervous nigh getting meaning or a disease. Other forms of nascence control do not protect against STIs, so a condom gives you lot an extra layer of protection. If your partner refuses to utilise a rubber, you may want to reconsider having sex with them.

   • At that place are both male and female person condoms available.
   • The most of import affair about condoms is that they fit. Partners should purchase a few different types of condoms. Try them on and see what fits best. If your partner has a latex allergy, nitrile condoms are a not bad alternative.
   • Condoms should be worn before, during, and after penetration. This volition increase your protection against STIs and pregnancy.

5. v

   Apply lubricant. Lubricant will ease a lot of the pain past reducing friction. It can also help prevent condoms from breaking during sexual practice. Use lubricant to your partner's penis over the condom or sex toy before they penetrate you.

   • If you're using latex condoms, do not utilise an oil-based lubricant. These can weaken the latex and cause the condom to tear or break. Instead, use a silicone- or water-based lube. It is safe to use any blazon of lube with a nitrile or polyurethane condom.

6. half dozen

   Take your time. Effort to enjoy the moment instead of rushing to the end line. Spend time figuring out what you and your partner both bask. Start with kissing, motility to making out, and stick to whatever stride feels nigh comfy for both of you.

   • Foreplay tin can assistance you relax while increasing arousal. It tin likewise increase your natural lubrication, making it easier for your partner to enter you painlessly.
   • Remember that y'all tin cease having sex at any indicate. Consent is active and ongoing. You lot take the right to stop or withdraw consent at any point yous desire.

7. 7

   Communicate your needs. Don't be agape to inquire for what you need in the moment. If something feels proficient, permit your partner know. If something is causing you hurting or discomfort, tell them. They should be willing to do what it takes to make you feel pleasure instead of hurting.

   • If you're feeling pain, try slowing downwards, moving more than gently, or using more than lubrication. For example, if you experience pain, you lot might say, "Do you mind if nosotros slow down? This is hurting me right now."
   • You can enquire your partner to try a different position if the one y'all're using is uncomfortable. For example, if you are on elevation of your partner, you can better control the speed and angle of penetration.

8. viii

   Practice some aftercare. If you have pain or bleeding, bargain with information technology before it becomes too overbearing. Accept an over-the-counter pain reliever, clean up whatsoever blood, and wearable a light pad for a few hours. If you experience extreme pain, you need to talk to a trusted adult or meet a health care provider.

Add New Question

• Question

  Why do I start to shake every time my young man and I plan to take sex?

  

  Dr. Marusinec is a lath certified Pediatrician at the Children's Infirmary of Wisconsin, where she is on the Clinical Practice Council. She received her M.D. from the Medical College of Wisconsin School of Medicine in 1995 and completed her residency at the Medical Higher of Wisconsin in Pediatrics in 1998. She is a member of the American Medical Writers Association and the Lodge for Pediatric Urgent Care.

  

  Board Certified Pediatrician

  Expert Answer

  You may not really be ready to have sex yet, or you may be scared. Think near if y'all are ready to have sex. Are y'all mature enough? Are you feeling pressured to have sex? Do you lot really care about your partner and does he care for yous well and actually care about you? If you lot don't think y'all are fix all the same, talk to your partner and ask him to wait until you lot are. If you are ready and have a caring partner, so talk about why you may be scared. If you are worried most pregnancy or diseases, make sure yous apply condoms and go on birth command offset. If yous are scared of hurting, read the commodity for tips.

• Question

  How do y'all prevent pregnancy?

  

  Dr. Marusinec is a board certified Pediatrician at the Children'due south Hospital of Wisconsin, where she is on the Clinical Practice Council. She received her M.D. from the Medical College of Wisconsin School of Medicine in 1995 and completed her residency at the Medical College of Wisconsin in Pediatrics in 1998. She is a member of the American Medical Writers Association and the Gild for Pediatric Urgent Intendance.

  

  Board Certified Pediatrician

  Expert Respond

  If you are going to have sexual activity, the best way to forestall pregnancy is to start taking the pill or Depo shot at to the lowest degree a calendar month or two before you have sex, AND utilize a condom as well every time. If you have the pill, you take to brand certain you lot have information technology when you are supposed to each day and not miss pills. And if you do the Depo shot, yous have to get information technology when information technology's due, about every 3 months.

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• If you experience excruciating pain or heavy bleeding, see a doctor as soon as possible.

• If you experience like tonight is not "the night," don't be ashamed to look. A caring partner volition value how you experience above annihilation else. If y'all change your mind, it is okay to say and so!

• Y'all might get the urge to get to the toilet during sex. This is normal. Urinating before sex can convalesce this awareness. If you lot still feel this with an empty bladder, you may be someone who tin feel female ejaculation.

• You should always urinate after sexual practice to help prevent bladder infections.

• Make an appointment with a health clinic or gynecologist before you get sexually agile. They volition provide different birth control methods, teach yous about STIs, and even requite you lot condoms.

• E'er use a water based lubricant, non Vaseline, oil, moisturizer, or any kind of greasy substance. Oil-based lubricants can harm latex based condoms and cause irritation and pain, or a vaginal or yeast infection.

• No one's first time is admittedly perfect, so leave your expectations at the door. It's OK if your first time doesn't look similar a rom-com.

• Use a condom even if you have another class of nascency control. Hormonal birth control (similar the pill) but prevents pregnancy, not STIs. You can become an STI your first fourth dimension.

• If you feel you are nervous, practicing foreplay is a good way to make you more than comfortable with someone touching y'all. Even if you don't want to have sex just yet. It can make you more than comfy and confident with what you are doing.

• Don't give in to pressure from your partner. Information technology's your decision, not anyone else's.

• Don't drink or take whatever kind of drug out of fear of hurting. It could brand information technology much worse.

• If your partner has had multiple partners, you should inquire them to get tested for STIs. STIs are spread through vaginal, anal, and oral sex. People can carry and pass on STIs without showing symptoms. You lot can subtract your chances of getting an STD past using condoms, dental dams, and other barrier methods.

• If you have nascency control pills and are taking other medications such every bit antibiotics, this can sometimes alter the effects of the pill. Always consult your dr. earlier starting any medications to see if in that location will exist any negative interactions with your nativity command.

• It is possible to get meaning the outset time yous have sex. Condoms are highly effective when used correctly, but if possible, you should use another class of birth control along with a safe.

Things Y'all'll Demand

• A silicone- or h2o-based lubricant (recommended)
• Male or female condoms and some other grade of birth control (strongly recommended)
• Consent

Virtually This Commodity

Commodity Summary X

The pain from losing your virginity is a scary thought,only there are steps you lot can have to make your first time a more comfy, and even enjoyable experience. For instance, brand certain to take it slow and appoint in plenty of foreplay. That way, yous'll be aroused and lubricated as much as possible, which will help reduce the friction during penetration. Additionally, consider applying lubricant to your partner'south penis, which will help ease the hurting even more than. You should also tell your partner if he needs to slow downward or if you need a break. While you may be agape of ruining the mood, information technology's perfectly okay to say something like, "Do you lot mind if we slow downwards? This is hurting me right at present." For more advice from our Medical co-author, including how to care for yourself subsequently you lose your virginity, keep reading.

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